Not Getting Better

posted October 17th, 2013, 2:01 am


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June 15th, 2013, 1:27 am

GreenKrog

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Last night I was thinking about how much I hate doing this to the main character. Why not just, let her transition and be happy? Why show inner turmoil or external opposition?
Because, unfortunately, it is reality. Not to all people, and not to all extents. But it is a reality.

I sheltered myself in my house as long as possible, never going outside unless it was dark and I could be alone. I made sure nobody could inflict hurt on me except myself. I managed to escape physical confrontation. I still only go out when I can't be seen and hide from social situation for fear of who I am. I wish I could be better, and live life.

Despite whatever happens to Annie in Wildflowers, at least she is alive. Truly alive, and living, and a full person. She is unafraid. That is her truth.

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October 17th, 2013, 2:55 am

A (Guest)

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*hugs* :(

I never stopped going out, I had to for work, but I always dressed relatively androgynously, still do, and avoided talking to strangers where I might have needed to identify myself.

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October 17th, 2013, 3:08 am

GreenKrog

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@A: I managed to get myself a job at a huge tech company with a proven track record of LGBT rights. Even then I worked graves.
Like I said before.. I had a very well calculated life to avoid any and all potential threats.

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October 17th, 2013, 8:14 am

CuteDress&TwinPonytails

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For a Bigenderist like myself, I am, relatively and proportionally speaking, completely out in public and at work as my correct gender, that of an adult female. I usually wear a pretty dress or maternity dress, or a nice blouse and short skirt. However, lately for casual wear I have been wearing shirts or blouses and black leggings, because I see so many girls and women wearing leggings these days.
It has not been an easy road for me to travel to go out it public dressed as an adult female, but at least I have never had to face the physical and mental abuse that Annie has faced. My heart goes out to all those who yearn to dress and go out in public as their correct gender without any fear or intimidation. Maybe some day you can go out in peace and freedom, AnneKrog. I wish all of you here as part of Wildflowers audience to have the fortitude to be and dress as your true self.

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October 17th, 2013, 5:21 pm

GreenKrog

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@CuteDress&TwinPonytails: One of the worst times of my life was when I worked in retail. I had no choice, as I was unemployed for a year (fuck EA, btw). Every day at least one or two customers would get "that look" in their eyes and their demeanor would change utterly. I was very lucky to be in crowded places. And that is in Vancouver of all places.
Needless to say, it was not perfectly scripted and executed and it ended very poorly.

Generally I go out with peace and no fear - I don't get called on it in day to day life, and I think I pass ok. All I have to do is remember those months though, and I realize that nope.. I've been hiding in shadows and probably rightly so.
(Though my current work I am out and nobody gives a damn. Also my ex girlfriend and another trans* working here, so.. this company rocks. Also, fuck EA.)

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