Qualifications

posted December 26th, 2013, 2:01 am


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July 28th, 2013, 5:01 pm

GreenKrog

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I'd like to point out that, despite the subject matter of today and yesterday, Annie is still in full colour. Any feeling of inadequacy are those of a woman, not of a trans*woman. I think Lexi puts Annie at such ease that she finds it hard to be any other way alone with her.

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December 26th, 2013, 9:00 am

AliceAcid

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I hate when women have to get cystic removal, a mastectomy or something along that line and the worst thing for them is to "not be a real woman any more". It's not healthy for any one or any situation to define yourself over certain body parts or their looks

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August 7th, 2015, 1:17 pm

Hayleyshope (Guest)

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Hey, this strip came out on the most important day of my life! And not just the same date, but the literal day I (first) stopped fighting who I was. I think you once said that qualifies as a real birthday? I like to think of it as that too. Know you've got a new fan here! I read VE quite awhile ago, and Rain shortly before I found this, so I was delighted to see your shoutouts at the beginning of the comic

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August 7th, 2015, 1:32 pm

GreenKrog

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@Hayleyshope: My birthday moved from August to the day I went full time (December). I actually had my surgery on that same date two years later in December. What a coincidence! It was the very last day that I said I could accept being anyone other than who I am. If that isn't a true birthday, what is?

VE is what let me know that I could be true to myself. It showed me that even though things can be really horrible, they can also be a new life if we give it that chance. I personally feel that every trans person should read VE.
Rain on the other hand is more happy and less.. internal? I like it because it is light and doesn't tend to bring out as much pain as WF or VE do. I like to say people should read it because it invokes the opposite reaction that WF gets - that things can be ok because they can be ok. That life isn't always harsh, so we don't have to be scared that it will be harsh. I don't like to put myself on a pedestal, but I feel the three form a nice trifecta of emotional reactions.

Have you had a chance to check out 'other reads' on the top? It is full of all the other non-fantasy, non-magical TG/TS comics I have found.

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August 7th, 2015, 2:11 pm

Hayleyshope (Guest)

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@GreenKrog: I've not caught up here yet, I will read elsewhere when I have, for sure!

Yeah, you have a point about Rain standing in contrast to VE or WF. I caught up with Rain about four days ago, after I think two nights of reading. I've taken almost that here, because the feels! VE took me a good solid week! I empathize far more closely with VE and WF, because the difficulty is more prominent. I'm MtF, still living at home with parents who sent my to a Christian Counselor who they think "fixed" me after I tried to get away and live as me. They're both like Annie's (bio) mom. Long story, won't burden the comments with it. I'll make a profile on here, if there are PM's, PM me if you wish to hear it. In summary, thank you for your lovely comic, it's very encouraging to have characters I can relate to.

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August 7th, 2015, 2:19 pm

GreenKrog

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@Hayleyshope: I am interested in discussing your history only if you want to talk about it. If you do want to talk about it though, doing it in the open can be good for both you and everyone involved. It can bring more people into the conversation and shed light that you or I may not have insight on. It comes down to what will help YOU, don't worry about burdening US.

I am glad you have found merit in WF. It is always nice to know that I am helping others work through things.

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August 7th, 2015, 3:28 pm

Hayleyshope

Really long here, sorry!

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@GreenKrog: Yay! I made an account here! Now I can add a favorite to your number!

*Warning, novel begins here! Consider yourself warned!!*

Like I said, I stopped fighting myself on Dec. 29, 13. I had actually just started reading webcomics a few weeks earlier. The first webcomic I ever read is called Spinnerette, and it's a Spider-Man spoof with a lesbian lead. That I would read such a webcomic and enjoy it sent a shock to my system. I was raised in a very conservative Christian home, to be a pastor, so the fact that Spinny is a lesbian -should- have meant that I instantly would put it away in disgust. -But I didn't- In fact, I found myself ever more enthralled with the comic. I found myself wanting what Spins and her girlfriend had. By that, I don't mean I -just- wanted a relationship, I mean I wanted to be in a relationship with a girl, and to be a girl myself. That made my brain -poof-, so I started to try to remember if there was ever any time I had felt like that before. I found out there had been many such times. At that point, I could only remember about as far back as 11ish, due to the fact that I really don't remember much of anything before then, like at all. As I was thinking about all of that, I ran across Misfile, by Chris Hazelton. In it, people's lives are governed by where their files are in a filing system God designed. Thanks to a high angel named Rumisiel, Ash and Emily's files are altered. Em loses two years of her life, while Ash is changed from a cismale into a very pissed-off-at-Rumisiel girl. Won't spoil anymore of that fantastic read, but in Chris' Ask Ash section, someone asked Ash why he didn't just come out as FtM, to stop needing to present female. I barely understood what transgender meant at the time, let alone FtM, so I did some googling, and I ended up on the tumblr of one Ashleigh Edwards, who was then two years into HRT, and has now had SRS/GCS. THAT was when everything began to click. I was initially resistant, then I got angry. I hated what I was "becoming," then I hated God, then my parents, then myself again, and then, after all that hate, after talking to my dearest friend, (who I've since lost contact with) I accepted myself, as myself, for the first time at 3am-ish on the 26th. Since then, I've remembered a few more things from when I was younger, but those moments are really fuzzy. The only memories from then that are clear are with my mother's father, who I loved very much. He passed when I was eight, but I have actually found myself replacing myself in memories from when we were together. Y'know, when you don't see the actual person you looked like, but how you know you should have, in your memories? Anyway, in March of 2014, I had had enough of living with my parents, and I decided that since L----- (my good friend) had offered me a room in the trailer she was in, I would move there. I used the car that my parents gave me, which was my mistake, because they had never signed it over to me. They called to threaten me with a GTA charge if I didn't bring it back. I did, and spent the rest of the week trying to set up another getaway. I even tried to walk to L-----'s (a distance of some 150 miles, or 241 km), but ended up a crying wreck on my parents' front porch. That Friday, they arranged my first session with a Christian "therapist" who, I admit, I respected a great deal, and to some extent still do. Then they took me to dinner that night, at a couple from our church's house. I basically interrupted the dinner to pull my mom aside and say L----- had found me a ride, and they were waiting for me close to home. My mom was furious, to put it mildly... Then L----- used the correct gender pronouns when they picked me up, and went to get my stuff from the house, which I found out later made my mother feel physically sick. This time, they had literally nothing on me, and couldn't -make- me return. But they had my older brother. What he said to me during a phone call on the car trip wasn't verbal abuse, but it was manipulation, and brainwashing of a sort. I love him so much, and they know that, so they used him against me. I ended up coming home and I've been presenting male everywhere ever since then. They even threw away my purple-and-black stripey armwarmers, which were a gift from a friend who didn't even know I was trans! I had CD'd in her clothes once for a harlem shake video at her house, and she said I could keep them. Looking back, my parents weren't really happy about that, and like I said, that had been before -anything- I remember something they asked in the car after that incident; "Didn't that just feel wrong?" I told them yes, it had, but my heart told me that was a lie. Anger at my lost armwarmers aside, I've recently begun saving to hopefully get in with a good therapist. It'll be fun dodging the parents to go to sessions! And hiding HRT, when that happens, will be REALLY fun! /sarcasm. Oh well, it's what will have to be until I can get a decent enough job to get out of here I guess.
Thanks for letting me share that!

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August 7th, 2015, 8:07 pm

GreenKrog

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@Hayleyshope: Thanks for adding me. Some day I will have more people on the fans list than those people who have posted 4 pages of a comic with no story except pages that thank people for being fans. /bitter sarcasm but really thank you.

Ah the internet, where minds are no longer shackled by religion or fallacies. Where we can learn about ourselves, and others, and learn what it is to be a real person in a real world, glorious and unburdened by the chains of those less educated and indoctrinated.

It is slightly hard to see your timeline only because I dont have a base age to work off of during the trailer incident. Elsewise, I totally follow.
Funny thing, I was just in with a therapist (government appointed). I hated him, but I respected him greatly. So I get what you mean by hating the content but respecting the person.

It is pretty messed up when parents pit their kids against each other. The same happened with Annie and Bill due to how their mother acts. Had Bill lived with Annie's father, who knows how things would have turned out.

It sounds to me like your parents don't overly want you, they want an image of what they think you are supposed to be. And when you think about it, that makes a lot of sense. Parents should want to see their kids in the best light. The issue is when that runs contrary to reality. I won't give you advice to run away ASAP, or to lie to them, but I will tell you this: don't let anyone ruin you. Because of what happened between me and my mother, I am destroyed for life. If you don't think you can keep who you are inside with how they treat you, then you absolutely need to remedy that. You can still be a whole person, and you need to be that person.

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August 7th, 2015, 9:29 pm

Hayleyshope

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@GreenKrog: One day I want to put out a comic, I just can't draw for crap. I can dream up a good story all day long, but I can't make the art to go with it.

Though I'm rather embarrassed to admit it, I was a month short of 21 when I moved into the trailer, I'm now almost 22, and still they find ways to control me. But that won't last forever. I can't let it. I've actually had people get extremely angry with me, to the point of shouting matches, for the way I handled the trailer incident. I know I should be on my own by now, I just can't seem to get ahead enough to actually be able to leave. I need to get out, I don't ever try to deny that, but I can't leave if in doing so I endanger my future. If leaving too early is a huge setback to Therapy/HRT/SRS, then it's not the way to go, right?

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August 7th, 2015, 9:35 pm

GreenKrog

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@Hayleyshope: Right around the 70 page mark you can see exactly how god terrible I was at drawing. Just do it anyways. Eventually you will suck less (or die trying).

Your future is not your finances. It is being a whole person. How you achieve that is your call, but never forget that.

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August 7th, 2015, 10:13 pm

Hayleyshope

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@GreenKrog: I'll give it a shot, but promise no firing squads for the crime against humanity my "art" will be!

But seriously, you sound a lot like these three friends of mine when you say that the finances matter very little... Maybe I should listen to them a bit more on that?

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August 7th, 2015, 11:00 pm

GreenKrog

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@Hayleyshope: People will judge you, probably say bad things about you, and you will learn what works for YOU as an artist. Trust me, your art will suck, and then over time it will become nearly ok, and eventually, you will actually become proud of it. All it takes is time.

I was in debt to the tune of 50k because of college. I stayed in situations that caused me to want to die (and attempted to do so). When I say that you can recover from finances, I mean it. 10 years after transition, after I gained the courage to stand up for myself and take what was mine, I am out of debt. I am unstoppable and I have shown every person I have met in the IT world that I am to be respected. Is that true for you? I don't know. But I can tell you this: every person I have met who has underestimated themselves has become a true person and become amazing.

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