Anxiety Defined

posted March 7th, 2014, 2:01 am


average rating: None
post a comment
author comments
view GreenKrog's profile

August 10th, 2013, 10:06 pm

GreenKrog

reply

Nothing snaps you back to reality and out of panic like actually having something bad happen.

end of message
user comments

March 7th, 2014, 5:07 am

Noodlez

reply

Bah! Annie you gotta give the school the finger and not go to the meet! It's not like they'd let her even in a change room.

end of message
view GreenKrog's profile

March 7th, 2014, 12:02 pm

GreenKrog

reply

@Noodlez: She enjoys swimming. Why should she have to give up the things she wants to do? Sure, it means that the people she is swimming for gain something, but so too does she.

end of message

March 7th, 2014, 7:33 pm

Noodlez

reply

that's the thing I don't get though, I mean at this point she's been in the hospital for the past 2 weeks at least. Her body (in combination with weight loss) is probably much weaker. She wouldn't even do vic any good. Even if she does like swimming, she wouldn't even be competitive, and if she's not going for competitive, just swim on your own.

end of message
view GreenKrog's profile

March 7th, 2014, 7:46 pm

GreenKrog

reply

@Noodlez: Now, I'm basing this off of my own transition, but I sort of stopped eating and started riding my bike constantly so I could exhaust myself. During that year, I lost a lot of weight, spent most of the time dizzy as hell, and I also got my bike training to a state I was really proud of.
My point in this is that, despite my body going totally to hell, nothing could possibly stop me from what my subconcious needed to do - escape being me. I suppose there are a lot of things very different between Annie and I (like, she actually has the courage to be herself so young), but I guess some of me rubs off.

The way I've written Annie is sort of the same way - even though she could be weak, and nobody could possibly hold it against her, she refuses to be. She goes out and she says 'screw what my stupid body says that it limits me, I am going to do this'.
What better way is there to show up the people who hate you, than to be the best you can be and show them up? What can they say after that? Nothing! Because you've taken away any ammo they have!

..but I'm am amazon who doesn't let her body limit her. I move three seater couches up and down three flights of stairs and a block over, by myself, because it has to be done. So I kind of have a bias :)

end of message

March 7th, 2014, 9:49 pm

sims (Guest)

reply

Wouldn't there be some repercussions for students physically harming her? And wouldn't she be under special watch by the school for the suicide attempt, the recent hospital visit and past harassment?

end of message
view GreenKrog's profile

March 7th, 2014, 10:04 pm

GreenKrog

reply

@sims: Unfortunately, in many schools, physical altercations are not actually treated as important. At least, not back in my day. Though you will find out in one week (no spoilers) that Mitch was suspended for fighting. Where I went to school, it has to hit a fairly serious level of brutality before it counts. One day I got the shit kicked out of me (there was like, 5 of them, and they thought I was someone else, fighting back wasn't an option). The school suspended one of them and let the other 4 totally off.

As for suicide watch, the school was never made aware of this. Would Julie, having lied to Tony's parents, just come out and explain things to the school? Or sugar coat it like she did to the parents? Suicide watch wasn't a thing that they did back in my day. Kids just killed themselves. Nobody cared.

I hope that times have changed. I really hope that. Because back in my day, teachers did their best to be there for me, but they were utterly powerless. No matter how much I was attacked, they couldn't do anything except tell me I was going to get through it.

Keep in mind, I was in high school; it was during the Columbine shootings. I was a big white guy who was angry, all the time, and smarter than the rest of the people in the school. Nobody did anything to me. The school didn't talk to me. I really could have walked in and shot up the place, and not a single person tried to stop me.
Back in my day, the school didn't allow gays - now they have LGBT/S clubs. Back in my day, kids got to bring power tools to school to work on woodshop projects, now bringing a keychain can send you home for having a weapon.

Sorry for the rant, I am just trying to frame where I am coming from when I am writing all of this. In 10 years, if everything that I have written in Wildflowers never happens to another human being, then I am happy to take it down, remove it from our world's memory, and nobody will ever look at the pages and feel like these are things they understand firsthand. Some day..

end of message
view CuteDress&TwinPonytails's profile

March 10th, 2014, 12:22 pm

CuteDress&TwinPonytails

reply

For some time now I have thought that a lot of what happens to Annie are things that have happened to you, AnneKrog, IRL. Although some of the outcomes may be different, the overall storyline seems to be somewhat of an autobiography. Or am I wrong about that ?

end of message
view GreenKrog's profile

March 10th, 2014, 12:32 pm

GreenKrog

reply

@CuteDress&TwinPonytails: Annie's story isn't autobiographical. While certain aspects of her life mimic real life (RMitch and RRon are basically straight from real life), her story is entirely her own. Annie has more nerve, drive and guts than I ever had at that age. She transitioned at 15, I waited until 22 - our memories are vastly different.

end of message
post a comment