Here

posted December 18th, 2014, 2:01 am


average rating: None
post a comment
author comments
view GreenKrog's profile

January 11th, 2014, 4:02 am

GreenKrog

reply

My eyes filled with tears as I sat writing this comic. It was late, so I couldn't call my mother and tell her I was ok.

A little history, why this page means so much to me. My biological mother was never really much of a mother. Like Tony's mother, she worked hard, but her values were not in helping others and exalting the good that can be in the world. I spent a lot of time in serious hurt because of the words she would use on me.
As I grew, I looked for mothers to care for me. In places I worked. At school. Even in friends. I grew a collection of people who I loved but I knew could never really be the mother I need.
But for almost my entire life, I had a mother that I was too shortsighted to see. My father married a beautiful woman when I was young. I don't know what caused me to be against her, but I was. To this day, I wish I could have cared about her and have the mother she was for me. I was the agent of my own hurt. Even when I came out as trans, I didn't tell her to her face, I was a coward and had my dad bring her my letter.
Since then, she has been there for me. She has been supporting me, helping me, loving me, in the way only a mother can be. All those years, I could have had her with me.
Mom, I love you. I wish I hadn't wasted so many years.

Now it is my turn. We all know I am bipolar, autistic, borderline, have PTSD and social avoidance. They would never give me a child to love because of how broken I am inside.
And yet, I have been a mother. I am a mother. My name, Krogarum, is orcish for 'mother bear with no cubs'. In my years playing games, I have been there to give people hope, to show them that they have someone who will always be there for them, never judging, caring when they think nobody else would. Now I do my best to care for you, the readers, and anyone I come across. So they know the warmth and love of a mother. I have given others the gift of being a mother, to tend to those who need us most.

I will never have a child of my own. But I am a mother. And I will always be there for my cubs.

end of message
user comments

December 18th, 2014, 2:36 am

Zee (Guest)

Hmm

reply

I kept wondering why you started using (that i know) Tony's to referring to Annie's stuff and such.
I noticed it in the last two strips.

end of message
view GreenKrog's profile

December 18th, 2014, 2:47 am

GreenKrog

reply

@Zee: You mean in the comments? In this case, it is because Annie's biological mother is not accepting of Annie - she will always be Tony's mother. Same as my "mother" will always have a son.

end of message

December 18th, 2014, 4:05 am

TotesOlive (Guest)

reply

@GreenKrog: I feel the same way Krog. I spent my whoel life pulling away frommy family. I was afraid and ashamed of what I was even as I was playing the part of the good child. I came out to my wife when we were dating but had decided she was one of the only people I would ever tell. When I came out to my family and friends and started transition everyone was supportive, to my face at least. I later found out that my grandmother told off my mother for making comments about me behind my back. I had always loved my grandmother, but kept her at a distance for personality reasons, and even now I am not sure I have shown her how much her love and support has meant to me.

Similarly, even though I have children, I pick up strays around me all the time, I have an extended network of people I consider my children, and many of them are patrons at my game store. I think that this is something that many of us go through when we finally open our hearts to the world and realize what we were missing when we walled off to protect ourselves and keep our secret.

end of message
post a comment