Emotional Blackmail

posted January 3rd, 2015, 2:01 am


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January 25th, 2014, 2:44 am

GreenKrog

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Ok, this week is pretty terrible. I apologize for it. Unfortunately it is something that a lot of LGBT youth have to go through.
I won't lie, yes, it was used on me, and yes, it caused long term pain. Causes. It's hard to get over, and it is a very evil practice. If someone starts using it on you, please, please, talk to someone who will not use it against you. Someone who actually cares about you, more than they care about themselves. You do not have to suffer through this. Nobody deserves this.

Here is the clip from wiki;
"Emotional blackmail" is a powerful form of manipulation in which blackmailers who are close to the victim threaten, either directly or indirectly, to punish them to get what they want. They may know the victim's vulnerabilities and their deepest secrets. "Many of the people who use emotional blackmail are friends, colleagues and family members with whom we have close ties that we want to strengthen and salvage"[7] - parents, partners, bosses or lovers. No matter how much the blackmailer cares about the victim, they use their intimate knowledge to win compliance.

Knowing that the victim wants love, approval or confirmation of identity, blackmailers may threaten to withhold them or take them away altogether, or make the victim feel they must earn them: "as the power of emotional blackmail indicates, self-identity is inevitably affected by... the 'reaction' of the other",[8] as is self-esteem. If the victim believes the blackmailer, he/she could fall into a pattern of letting the blackmailer control his/her decisions and behavior and become "caught in a sort of psychological fog".[9]

Emotional blackmailers use fear, obligation and guilt in their relationships, ensuring that the victim feels afraid to cross them, obligated to give them their way and feeling guilty if they don't: indeed Forward and Frazier invent the acronym FOG, standing for Fear, Obligation, Guilt - feelings which often result from being exposed to emotional blackmail when in a relationship with a person who suffers from a personality disorder.[10]

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January 3rd, 2015, 9:19 am

JohnR (Guest)

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Yeah, that's exactly what it is. Ugh.

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January 3rd, 2015, 10:55 am

Anna (Guest)

Gaslighting

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Gaslighting at its finest.

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January 3rd, 2015, 1:13 pm

Bri (Guest)

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This is exactly why I study logic fallacies and even did role-playing arguments with my therapist. Being able to defend yourself means more than just physically but mentally too. It's far from easy, but it's a great skill to have.

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January 4th, 2015, 12:26 am

Grenartia

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@Bri:

Same here. I spend a lot of my time basically beating my head against a brick wall on forums. As I'm non-binary, I have to put up with a lot more crap than binary transfolks, so its a lot more necessary for me to be able to out logic almost anybody.

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January 3rd, 2015, 5:50 pm

Elessir

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My ex-wife used emotional blackmail on me, multiple times. I wasnt able to stand against it at the time, though I tried. I definitely understand what Annie's going through. If she remember's Mal's advice... maybe she can stand against it. Be strong Annie :(

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