Get Over It

posted March 5th, 2015, 2:01 am


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March 18th, 2014, 7:36 pm

GreenKrog

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Why is she freaking out? Who doesn't want to have people wanting them sexually?

Well, I'm not the prettiest thing on two legs, but in personal experience, being objectified can begin to suck very quickly. I suppose for me it is more noticable because I'm one of them interlecturrals who is more of a brain than a body, so having people essentially say that I was a body and that is what mattered? That bothered me. The time I spent studying sociology firsthand (ie, talking to cheerleaders at school), they often felt the same way. It's nice to be wanted, but it's not nice to be wanted only for that one value.

And yes, the Dethatpus couldn't run as fast as Andrea, and it got out of breath and had to take a knee after it caught up.

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March 5th, 2015, 6:25 am

Noodlez

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>"It's your choice if you wanna get hung up on...stuff"

Ok so I have a bit of issue with what Andrea is saying. I'm a trans gal, and sex is one of the hardest things for me. I am pre-op, and the biggest source of dysphoria is my junk. It's not my choice to get hung up on it. I just freak out/get triggered during sex.

I went out with a cute gal, basically I had the "panties don't come off" rule, and I broke it. I got triggered badly. freaked out, broke it off with the girl, and completely ended dating with her...I wish I wasn't "hung up" on what I got, but I can't change that

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March 5th, 2015, 12:32 pm

GreenKrog

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@Noodlez: I get it, trust me. I hated the damn thing until I got rid of it. That all said, I really wish I had seen this web comic a long time ago. It perfectly expresses how we (transwomen) SHOULD view ourselves in relation to our lower bodies.

http://assignedmale.tumblr.com/post/99204841272/stop-gendering-genitals

Also, if you haven't received GRS/SRS by January of 2016, I have written a very long psych session between Annie and Dr (Julie) Bernt on this topic. Andrea isn't trying to be flippant, she is trying to be helpful.

Another way to think of it is about all of this is about the overall premise of body dysmorphia (which is a term I hate because dysphoria =/= dysmorphia and trans people need to learn the difference). However, it does factor in that Annie, like Lexi, have both had problems with their body that have nothing to do with gender. Treating yourself as alien or 'wrong' is how you let it control you.

If you haven't looked in to cognitive behavioral therapy in relation to being triggered by things, I highly recommend it. While CBT might not be a catch all, it may very well help you, and others (like the author and her depression) to live a full life without as much fear and anxiety.

---

Edit: I have been duly informed that I am wrong and do not know what I am talking about, as I am post-op, and therefore my opinions are invalid. Please ignore any and all advice I may give.

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June 18th, 2015, 5:51 am

Guest

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@Noodlez: Hey, don't beat yourself up, love. Everyone is different and we all react to things in our own way.

I'm cis female, so I know I can't begin to understand what you are going through. I do understand being triggered, though. I have had situations that trigger a massive anxiety in me, and I know what you mean about not being able to choose if you are ok with something or not.

I think Andrea is trying to help, and as a cis person she's on the outside of this, so doesn't have all the answers. Even another trans* woman might feel differently.

You are not wrong. It is not your fault. You have to navigate life and these situations in your own way.

I know it must be really triggering to read Andrea's words. Just do the best you can with what you have. If you need certain boundaries in place to feel safe and comfortable in bed with another person, then you use them. That's totally fine. Perhaps Annie can learn to get past her feelings about certain parts, some of the time and be able to enjoy partner sex. Perhaps not. We'll see.

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March 6th, 2015, 9:34 pm

Lex-Kat (Guest)

Nope

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I refuse to ignore your advice. I may not always agree, but I know you give good advice.

And whoever told you that you are wrong, is DEAD wrong. You have gone through more than I have. You know what is to come. You are supportive and full of goodness.

Don't ever listen to someone telling you to shut up. That is my advice to you. *Hugs*

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April 7th, 2015, 4:08 pm

Elessir

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Going to agree. Your opinion is always valid.

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