Carpet

posted August 26th, 2015, 2:01 am


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September 8th, 2014, 3:49 am

GreenKrog

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You really thought I would be above making that joke? You really don't get me! For those who didn't get the joke? Ask someone older. And who is a lesbian. And all will become clear. Hilariously clear.

So the whole thing about Annie not being able to sleep in someone else's house? For those who are not trans, here is way too much info: many pre- or non-operative transwomen, despite having a lot of testosterone blockers, may still from time to time have, for lack of better term, a morning erection. The easiest and quickest way to wake up to massive body dysphoria and let your new friends know that you are different? Morning wood.

Even ignoring that, Annie's nightmares are pretty.. something. She is worried that she will wake up and be stuck in her dream mind and say something. Or that she will wake up using the wrong voice. Or any of those little things that can give you away when you are trying to hide something like this.

I hope she can find trust soon. At least for Wendy, or for Bree. Because right now she really doesn't have anyone to help with her nightmares.

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August 26th, 2015, 11:50 am

Erin (Guest)

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This is something that personally really annoys me. I hate when I say I don't want to do something with someone, for reasons I don't want to explain, but make clear that I am uncomfortable doing it, and the person takes it personally, especially when they make it about trust. In this situation, I wouldn't feel comfortable staying over either, especially after the hard sell Bree is trying to put on this.

First of all, she is doubting Annie's ability to judge a situation for herself, which is never a good place to start from. Secondly, she is trying subvert Annie's decision. Thirdly, she is invading Annie's personal space during a tense moment by putting her hand on her shoulder. I realize that some people find this comforting, but another group of people would find this pressuring or aggressive (I fall in the later camp so I tend to be sensitive to this). And lastly she is making it about herself and her emotions as opposed to Annie's feelings.

So, if Annie didn't trust her before, I don't really see why she would, or should, trust her now.

I mean, as many problems as Vic had, he at least realized that he should be concerned about Annie's feelings and respected her decisions, because he learned from the time that he bullied her on the swim team that people deserve to have autonomy over their own life, and you can only help them when they ask for help. Vic's problem was not taking time to deal with his own emotions because he felt that they were wrong and tried to repressed them instead of dealing with them.

Bree seems to have not learned the lesson Vic learned yet, and is being not only manipulative, but selfishly manipulative to boot.

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August 26th, 2015, 4:48 pm

GreenKrog

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@Erin: http://www.dumbingofage.com/2014/comic/book-4/01-the-only-dope-for-me-is-you/sympathy-2/

I don't disagree that Bree isn't handling it that well, but look at it from her perspective. She barely knows Annie or how much she can trust (or be trusted). So she is asking questions to find out. Bree knows that Wendy has it out for her, so Bree probably wants to know if this is because of Wendy or because Annie is still working on things herself.
If someone came over, spent a bunch of time, but then was unable to sleep over for no reason given especially when they clearly need a friend, I would be concerned about these things as well.

I do agree with you that it is not the best situation. I disagree that it is so easily cut and dry though.

Try to picture it this way: Tony, Mitch, and Ron started sleeping over as friends after hanging out for one day. They were friends, not a whole lot else to think about. That's pretty much how every friendship I've had has been too - you hang, someone crashes at your place, eventually you end up hosting monthly brostorm events where you get your friends drunk and watch Pacific Rim and eat Cheezies. 'Normal' friendship is easy. Annie is making this hard.

It isn't just Bree either. Annie discussed nightmares with Zora, who she barely knows - and Zora offered help. Do you feel Zora is also being pushy with that offer?

Saying you can only help someone when they ask for it is somewhat incorrect. I am one of those people who had to learn how to be stoic and emotionless to survive life. Physical and emotional pain aren't things I have, because I bury them inside until they become tiny grenades. I believe I need nobody to help me, and if I do need help, I believe I will just deal with it myself. Yet time and again people in my life help me in ways I didn't know I needed, without me asking, because they knew I needed that help and I COULDN'T ask.

Just a lot of thoughts to put out.

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