Trust

posted August 28th, 2015, 2:01 am


average rating: None
post a comment
author comments
view GreenKrog's profile

September 8th, 2014, 4:12 am

GreenKrog

reply

Frame three - 'Black Veil Brides - Savior'.

Well.. looks like Annie is out to another person. I think that is ok though. This seems like it will work out ok.
I wonder, do you think people can figure out who the Maiden is through her incidents? There was the first time she sang and passed out. There was the incident where she got stabbed. There were those reporters asking if she was a boy or a girl. She had spent time with the band in boy mode, though not often, and that was before they were really known.

---
---

When Kora says she is ok when she is cutting, she means it and believes it. To an extent, anyways. She is in a state where she doesn't want to die. She has no desire, or knows she doesn't have enough strength to press down and end her life. She sees that she is doing long term damage, but at least she is alive.

When I said that this is worse than being able to use cutting to die, I meant it in some ways. If you die from your wounds, you don't have to carry them around. You are gone, and they are gone. That first time you cut your skin, you know that cut will be there until you are gone from this world.
Now she has to live with them. These scars that will never be invisible. She has to carry them. She can never be naked without people knowing how hurt her mind had been. I rarely hide my scars any more, because I am no longer ashamed of them. I was a horribly hurt person. I couldn't deal with the world, and I got help. It was harder to get help than continuing to cut, but I did it.

So what do I mean when I say Kora is doing this as a form of control, if it isn't suicidal cutting? Think about it. How many things can you do in this world that are /until you die/? What greater control do you have over yourself than to watch yourself bleed? Even if you can't kill yourself, you can do something almost as good.
Cutting is addicting. When things get so hard that you can't cope any more, drawing that steel across skin and feeling that pain and seeing that you are still alive? Knowing that YOU are in control of this, when you may not be in control of anything else? How else can you describe it? This is YOU, and nobody can take it from you.
And yet, after the blood has gone away, did you ever really have control? Now you are the same as you were before, but with red marks on your flesh. Nothing was solved. Nothing was fixed. Except now your skin hurts, and not in the good way it did in the moment. Now you have a memory to carry forever, instead of dealing with an banishing the memory that made you do it.

We can all make it through this together. It sure isn't easy, I won't say it is. Though I haven't cut in 7 months, I don't get a medal for it. If I was in AA, I would have gotten a chip for nothing cutting for 3 months, and 6 months, and soon a year. But I didn't. Nobody does, because we are expected to hide our hurt. And that isn't good enough. We all need to talk about it, deal with it, and love each other for our scars instead of judging.
Stay strong Kora - your savior will be there.

end of message
user comments
view CuteDress&TwinPonytails's profile

August 28th, 2015, 6:52 pm

CuteDress&TwinPonytails

reply

Quite a contrast, and quite an accomplishment !!! From Annie the victim, in No. 167 " Punishment " and No. 358 " Bloody Maiden ", to Annie the saviour, in today's episode, No. 1090, " Trust ".

end of message

September 3rd, 2015, 5:18 am

Jax Rhapsody (Guest)

reply

Judging by her wrist- those are suicidal cuts, ever hear the colliquism; "down the tracks, not across the ties," cutting across your arm(across the railroad ties) won't kill you, down your arm(down the rail road tracks) actually can.

Cutting releases a certain pheromone, that i can't recall the name of- D-something, that calms you down. Though it's nothing to be proud of, me and two of my friends are cutters, seems like the only way to deal with certain things, with a clouded mind.

end of message
view GreenKrog's profile

September 3rd, 2015, 11:57 am

GreenKrog

reply

@Jax Rhapsody: They are likely test cuts, yes. But she could also simply be cutting in that manner to see how much she can bleed. Going across the tracks means you need a lot more pressure to create depth to get a lot of flow, but if you manage to follow a vein it requires a much shallower cut to have a good long bleed.

I am a cutter too :(

end of message

September 9th, 2015, 4:05 am

Jax Rhapsody (Guest)

reply

Yeah, it does require a little more effort, though I never did it to bleed a lot. A friend of mine, I forgot what she used, but her scarz look like her arm was grazed by bullets. It's not a fun thing, and I feel a certain way talking about the 'best way" to cut. I suppose, however if one was to do it, at least know proper techniques(uggh), or something. Doesn't feel too right talking about such a habbit.

Many of my razor blade scars have faded, but the ones used by heavier blades(wider blades like my jackknives, and dagger) are still there. I even used a key once. My other friend uses the tattoos on her arms to keep from doing it, so they won't get ruined.

To anyone who may come accross this; it seems like a decent way to help whatever pain you have, to have some sort of release, but instead of scarinf yourself up, leving tangible memories the wrong way, I'd sugggest writing about whatever it is, or something. Self-harm is "better" than harming other people, or what have you, but not harming yourself is even better. I try to write poetry versus cutting.

Hopefully this all makes since.

end of message
post a comment