Teen Angst

posted October 31st, 2015, 2:01 am

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November 24th, 2014, 9:05 pm



Uh... Annie does have a point, sorta. On the other hand, we don't really know if Dr Bernt ever experienced extreme racism or not, so what do we know.

Annie is being a little hyperbolic, but she is making a valid point. If Annie had stayed as Tony, yeah, she might have taken her own life again, but she also wouldn't be constantly attacked by people. She wouldn't live in (as much) fear about being discovered. It is a lot easier to tell someone how to live their life when you don't have to experience it yourself.

...so, Flint just saw Annie with a beard. Uh...


I want to bring in a personal anecdote about not knowing what someone else has been through, and why I don't do it. I've run an LGBT+S guild in WoW for a good 6 years now. When I do my guild recruitment, I specifically leave the +S on to show that we are not LGBT, we are an everyone guild - but that you must be LGBT friendly. I recruit a LOT of people who experience casual homophobia and don't find it comfortable to even mention having a boyfriend (if gay) or the like. I especially recruit a lot of trans people, because, well.. trade chat on any given server, drop the word 'tranny', and watch what happens for the next hour.
My point here is that the +S gets a lot of hate. I get thrown back, constantly, that "you don't need to put the S on there, straight people are always welcome in ever guild. How dare you append LGBT with straight. This is our space, and our term." To which I explain that a GSA (gay straight alliance) is common in most schools, and it openly states that both gay and straight are to be there. Our guild is not exclusive - neither is a GSA.
What tends to happen next is startling. People will absolutely go off on me, usually sexual minorities, about how I don't know what it is to be transgender or whatever. They will go on, at length, about how I have no idea what it is to be a minority. They will rail on me for about three or four minutes without stopping about how terrible I am to be including straight people.
At which point, I usually send them a link to WF, and the TDOR comic archive, and I calmly explain to them who I am. I explain how many people I have helped in my time, and how I have experienced hardship. Perhaps not as much as many - I have been very lucky. But that they should know me before comparing how hard things are for them before saying I don't know what it is like.
After this, about 95% of people say. "Oh. I didn't know. Sorry." and often want to then join the guild. Many of them do after the long guild recruitment speech. Because now they understand that is isn't about who had it worse, but that we need all the allies we can get - in all aspects of life.
My point is, you can never know how hard a person's life has been without talking to them. What Annie did here is wrong - she doesn't know what Julie has been through. And before you try to compare yourself to another, just pause and think about this. Some kids are picked on in school for being gay. I was nearly killed in a park on the way home for being trans. We don't know.

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