Swim Goddess Moises

posted March 16th, 2016, 2:01 am


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April 25th, 2015, 1:51 am

GreenKrog

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Uh.. picture unrelated?
...and that is how the school was burned to the ground, and from its ashes rose the ancient gods, terrifying and beautiful, to send us gibbering into insanity.

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March 16th, 2016, 2:05 am

Drunkenmists666 (Guest)

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I love how they both ignore the evil she removed from her body in conversation and are avoiding it at the same time.

Love this one!

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March 16th, 2016, 3:17 am

Yan Mouson

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What I'm about to say, I mean not as an insult to your writing but as a piece of constructive criticism: when depicting a character with an accent or ailment that impacts their speech, I would advise moderation. While altering a character's speech patterns is often necessary, pushing it to a point where it becomes difficult to understand can hurt the reader's immersion.

It's generally best to only deform a character's dialogue to a point where the reader understands it as well as the POV character. Here, it's obvious that Annie and Cindi understand Wendy perfectly, yet the reader might need to read her lines several times to understand them, and this is particularly problematic in the first panel. It might be preferable to tone it down to the minimal amount of deformation necessary for the reader to understand that Wendy has the flu. Switching "m" for "b" and "n" for "d" is universally accepted by readers as indication of a stuffed nose; anything beyond that is superfluous unless the character is purposely meant to be unintelligible.

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March 16th, 2016, 5:31 am

Vicky_michelle (Guest)

and the translation is...

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@Yan Mouson: Panel 1: (i wish) "my nose would un-stuff. This su*ks. Why are YOU TWO so happy?"
Panel 2: "How did you do THAT?"
Panel 3: "Well, it(it's?) about damn time!"
Panel 6: "I am nowhere near well enough to deal with the two of you right now."

The parentheses are my additions/unsure words.

I love the look on her face in panel 3!

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March 17th, 2016, 12:54 am

GreenKrog

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@Vicky_michelle: Ironically you proved Yan's point. Panel one is 'My nose won't unstuff'.

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