No Need

posted May 6th, 2016, 2:01 am


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July 14th, 2015, 5:30 pm

GreenKrog

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Everything Annie said is perfectly valid. Why SHOULD it matter to Wendy? Everything that has happened has had root causes that are not necessarily because of being transgender.

And yet, here we are in a situation where Wendy wanted to be the best friend she can be. Wendy cares, not because Annie is transgender, but because she has said things she had no idea were wrong. She just wants to help, but Annie won't let her.

Being stealth is a double edged sword. One that Annie is beginning to learn.

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May 6th, 2016, 2:10 am

Yan Mouson

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While Annie has the right to decide to be stealth, I think Wendy has a point here. As much as we all want that to not be the case, we live in a world where being transgender does matter, where it comes with unique challenges that mean you may need the support of others.

It's not just that Wendy wasn't given a chance to help Annie. This may sound counter-intuitive, but in being stealth, Annie is putting herself at risk of being found out. So long as her friends don't know she's transgender, she constantly worries about them finding out she's transgender and that can cause a tremendous amount of stress. Not only that, but having people who know and can cover for you can be extremely helpful.

It seems pretty obvious to me that not being stealth, at least with your closest friends, is a lot easier. This isn't an issue of morality, so there's no right or wrong here, but there is easier and harder, and that's worth considering.

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May 6th, 2016, 12:45 pm

Nick (Guest)

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When did Annie first meet Wendy? Because I seem to remember Wendy making a very transphobic statement pretty early on in their friendship. Not sure how far back to backtrack looking for it, though.

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May 6th, 2016, 1:35 pm

Yan Mouson

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@Nick: She has made several, often directed at Mal.

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May 6th, 2016, 2:48 pm

GreenKrog

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@Yan Mouson: Nooooot exaaaaactly.

http://www.wildflowerslgbt.ca/comics/2111804/terf/

Wendy has never been outright transphobic. She has demonstrated a clear lack of understanding and thinks it comes from nurture factors instead of nature. I guess it depends on where you draw the line between transphobia and being uneducated/way too feminist.

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May 7th, 2016, 2:01 am

Yan Mouson

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@GreenKrog: True that. It's likely that after Annie talked her into giving Mal a chance, Wendy did some research on the subject, which would explain her more positive reaction here.

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May 7th, 2016, 2:17 am

GreenKrog

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@Yan Mouson: Not to be trite, but what do you think the chances of Annie talking about transgenderism AT ALL with Wendy was a thing? She did everything she could to hide from the conversation Mal and Wendy were having.

I know Annie about as well as you do, but when has Annie ever talked to anyone openly about transgenderism?

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May 7th, 2016, 2:22 am

Yan Mouson

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@GreenKrog: I think you may have misread my comment here. I did not say that Annie and Wendy had a long heartfelt conversation about transgenderism. Annie did, in fact, talk Wendy into giving Mal a chance, just a few comics after the one you linked to. Wendy was noticeably more receptive after that, and I'm assuming that she might have done some googling on the subject between then and now. All I'm saying is I think she's better informed now than she was then.

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May 7th, 2016, 9:43 am

GreenKrog

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@Yan Mouson: So I did. Internet discussions!

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May 6th, 2016, 2:46 pm

GreenKrog

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@Nick: They met on Monday, Aug 30th.

Wendy has never said anything directly transphobic. Yan is correct that she has demonstrated a clear lack of understanding of transgenderism. It isn't that Wendy hates trans people, it is that she doesn't get how anyone would ever give up being a girl.

http://www.wildflowerslgbt.ca/comics/2111804/terf/

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June 8th, 2016, 7:42 pm

Lex-Kat (Guest)

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@GreenKrog: In some ways, I understand Wendy's POV on that. I really can't understand why anyone would wish to be a boy. >,<

But... I know that it's not a choice. It's who they are. I just think boy parts are just so.... ewww!

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May 7th, 2016, 10:54 am

Morgi (Guest)

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Honestly, after re-reading that page, I'm not surprised that Annie didn't trust Wendy. First impressions can be a powerful thing, and that was pretty ignorant. If I knew somebody who talked like Wendy did, I'd avoid them like the plague.

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